So I'm just a girl in the world of the Oilers and Flames, being a shining beacon of inspiration to get everyone to quit their erroneous ways and become Canucks Fans. The progress is decidedly slow.
Other than that, I'm a third year Education Student at the University of Lethbridge, majoring in Social Studies. Because let's face it, politics and history are pretty awesome.
Occasionally, I like to look at the Billboard charts. It’s mostly curiosity, somewhat looking for new music, and all time-wasting. Last week I found Decade End Charts, and as I looked at it, I thought, WOW. We listened to a lot of CRAP. And all you indie people, don’t get all uppity - you probably listened to it too.
So from the Hot 100 Chart of the 2000s, across all genres. I’ll recap the top 5, and then some honourable mentions of suck.
Coming in at #1 is “We Belong Together” by none other than Mariah Carey. My point is already made. I’ve never been a Mariah Carey fan, and this song is straight up terrible. It’s not catchy, or singable, or anything. For the top song of the 2000s: FAIL.
#2 is Yeah! by Usher. Now who doesn’t remember this song, possibly more because of this than anything else:
As far as song quality, it certainly doesn’t have lyrics that will speak to you, or change your life, but boy is it fun!
Clocking in at number 3 is “Low” by Flo Rida. I think Flo Rida owed Nelly some sort of personal favour. How else do you explain the “Apple Bottom Jeans” shout out? Otherwise its some kind of rap solidarity that I don’t understand. Side note: Did it take everyone else in the world about 3 months to figure out that Flo Rida is just Florida, broken into syllables? I guess it beats Tramar Dillard.
Numero Quatro is Alberta’s own Nickelback with “How You Remind Me.” Now, from my observations, most people reading this will be ashamed that Nickelback is from Alberta and appalled that they made top 5. But to be fair, this was their first popular song - how were we to know that every other song to follow would sound exactly the same? To quote Rolling Stone, “if you’re looking for originality, you might want a full refund instead of a Nickelback.”
Number 5 is comin’ at you straight from 2009: “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas. Mazel Tov, Black Eyed Peas (now that we all know what that means, or at least how to pronounce it.) Remember how a few years ago when Fergie tried to go solo, as did Will.I.Am, and we thought it would be the end of the Black Eyed Peas? I can’t decide if I miss that or not. This song either makes you want to dance and sing, or do anything you can to make it stop. Isn’t that just the catch phrase of popular music in 2009 though?
Now for the Honourable Mentions of Crap:
#20 - Hey Ya! by Outkast. Whatever happened to those guys? Oh wait - I don’t care! I seemed to the only person in the world who didn’t like this song, so thank you, oh blogosphere, for giving me a place to voice my displeasure. ‘Shakin’ it like a polaroid picture’ is not a dance move - its just irritating and makes me want to call an ambulance. This song also gets the award for worst music video of the 2000s. Seriously, can anyone tell me what is going on, other than some horrible cloning experiment went wrong?
#23 - Crank Dat (Soulja Boy) by Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em. “Who is Soulja Boy, and what the heck is that dance?” My thoughts exactly. Still. I remember this song came out a few months after my 18th birthday because this song was played in clubs and there were always those “cool” guys who would do the dance. In the bar. Full of people. Who thought that was a good idea? And who actually took the time to learn the dance? Imagine how many times you’d have to watch the video. And I can’t stand this song after one listen. The only redeeming quality this song has is that Travis Barker did a remix and, as we all know, everything Travis Barker touches turns to gold.
Now, if you’re like me, you’ve wondered about the current state of the North American Education system and why it is that kids can no longer spell or put together a proper sentence. I have found the answer.
“Hot In Herre” by Nelly, “The Way I Are” by Timbaland, “Right Thurr” by Chingy and my personal favourite, “Buy You a Drank (Shawty Snappin’) by T-Pain. Goodness gracious, it’s a miracle children survive this assault on the English language. On the other hand, Snoop Dogg is doing a real service to elementary science safety with “Drop It Like Its Hot.” Thanks Snoop.
#81 is “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy, aka that guy who doesn’t sing the catchy parts of his own songs - the other guy, aka, NOT Shaggy, does that. Some clever google-ing reveals that his name is Rayvon. Too bad everyone just thinks he’s Shaggy.
This is another one of those songs that is truly terrible, but because it always gets stuck in your head, you have to listen to it. Well played, Shaggy, well played indeed.
If you want to check out the full list of the Hot 100 of the 2000s, check it out. You will be amazed at the crap we listened to.
P.S. As I was reading through the list I thought…. Ja Rule? Who the he—— oh! Ja Rule! That rapper who was perpetually without a shirt. I wonder how it feels for him now that he’s forced to not wear clothes out of necessity, considering he hasn’t done anything to earn an income lately.
